How to Be The Guy That Women Want

By Lisa Daily
These days my email box is jammed full with letters from men asking for advice on how to attract women. Being a woman myself, I’m a bit on the fence as far as revealing the chick’s club
secret code, but as an eternal optimist when it comes to love
and relationships, I’ll do whatever I can to get everybody happily coupled up.

So guys, this month it’s your turn. Below you’ll find some
a combination of my favorite make-her-toes-curl moves, as
well as some fun tidbits from the thousands of women who write
to me, telling me what they look for in a guy.

Science first.

1. Take your positions for the mating dance.

Want to be the guy who gets noticed? Stand in the center
of the

room. According to Dr. Albert Mehrabian, the author of several

books and nationally-known expert in the field of spacial
psychology,

where you are in a room (and what you’re doing) has a lot
to do with

your ability to attract women. Where should you be for the

highest impact and the greatest number of interested cuties?

Smack-dab in the center of the room, standing up and moving
around

a bit. (But don’t pace a track on the carpet for goodness
sake…)

2. Nice guys wear blue.

According to Color Consultant Leatrice Eiseman, Director
of the

Pantone Color Institute and author of Colors For Your Every
Mood,

women are attracted to men wearing the color blue. And why

wouldn’t we be? According to Eiseman, guys who frequently

wear blue are “stable, faithful, constant and always
there.” The

blue guy is a fantastic candidate for a long-term relationship
–

someone who’s dependable, momogomous and can match his

own clothes.

Concerned your wardrobe is driving people away? Stay away

from what Eiseman calls “squished caterpillar yellow-green”

which is said to repel both sexes equally.

3. Be an Alpha male, or just look like one.

According to Body Language Expert Patti Wood, you shouldn’t
fold your arms or chew on gum, ice or your fingernails. Wood
says, chewing indicates anxiety or frustration, neither of
which are very attractive emotions.

There’s more. Women are biologically attracted to more dominant
men, so stand tall with your shoulders back. Feel free to
take up some space. Wood says appearing more dominant effectively
draws female attention. To attract women, stand with your
feet 6-10 inches apart, and your toes pointing outward.

For men who are victims of the “nice guy” badge,
or who appear to be too submissive to attract women, try taking
your Y chromosome out for a spin. According to spatial psychologist
Albert Mehrabian, men should “try wearing bulkier or
more conservative hairstyles or clothing,” hold your
head up, and speed up your speech and gestures to be more
assertive.

Make your move.

1) The eyes have it.

Once you’ve zeroed in on a target, lock eyes with her for
a full five to six seconds, then smile and drop your gaze.
Don’t stare a hole through the girl’s forehead for goodness
sake, just give her a smoldering come-hither look and look
away. Do this at least three times in a ten to fifteen-minute
period. Why? Your target needs to know it’s them you’re flirting
with, and eye contact is a universal signal of openness. Then,
make your move. Walk up and start a conversation. Wait too
long and they’ll likely lose interest.

2) Preen like a peacock.

We tend to preen or groom ourselves subconsciously when we’re
attracted to someone, by smoothing down our hair or clothes,
such as straightening your tie. Try combining a grooming gesture
with a smile and a gaze.

3) Monkey see, monkey do.

People mirror each other’s body language when they are attracted
with similar gestures, voice volume, etc. Try subtly mimicking
your flirting target’s behavior. If she leans forward, you
lean forward. If he scratches his head, you scratch your head.
If you are mirroring someone’s behavior, they’ll begin to
feel as though the two of you are connected and “in tune.”

4) Go in for the kill.

Once you and your flirting target have started talking, use
these tips to deepen the attraction. First, smile and maintain
eye contact as they are speaking, and focus all of your attention
on what they are saying. There is rarely anyone more attractive
than someone who finds you utterly fascinating.

How to tell if a woman is flirting with you? Look for signs
like extended eye contact, low-level touching and laughing.

What the women want.

Finally, once you’ve made your move, there are a few more
strategies you should employ. According to my research and
the hundreds of letters I receive every week, what women really
want is pretty simple:

1) If you want a woman’s phone number, be a man and ask for
it. Don’t pull that weenie-move of handing us your business
card and expecting us to make the first move.

2) Don’t wait a week to call. We know you’re playing it cool
and it irritates us. Two or three days is plenty of time to
wait.

3) Don’t wait until the last minute to ask for a date. Give
us a chance to look forward to it. (On the other hand, in
the early stages of a new relationship (first month) NEVER
ask us for a date several months in advance. Let ‘s make sure
the relationship is something both parties want to pursue
before you get locked into plans you may not want to keep.)

4) Never pressure a woman for sex. Really. Especially on
the first date.

5) Be a gentleman. That means paying for dinner, holding
the door open, and using your table manners. (Even if you
can belch the theme from Star Wars.)

6) Always offer your coat on a chilly night. (Yes, we know
we should bring our own, but we don’t. Besides, there’s something
utterly fabulous about cuddling up in your big man jacket.)

7) On top of that, be yourself. A really great guy.

For more information on:

The psychology of color: www.pantone.com

Body language:
www.pattiwood.net

© 2004 by Lisa Daily. All rights reserved.

Lisa Daily is the author of Stop Getting Dumped!

All you need to know to make men fall madly in love

with you and marry “The One” in 3 years or less.
At bookstores everywhere.

As seen in/on Cosmopolitan, The Other Half and Ricki Lake

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