Single on Valentine’s Day: On the Sidelines at the Rose Parade

By Lisa Daily

No other holiday drives home the fact that you’re single so much as the annual rose parade on Valentine’s Day. I’m not talking about the one in California. I’m talking about the one in your office. It usually starts before you’ve even had that first cup of coffee to steel your nerves, and continues throughout the day. A virtual pageant of florist delivery drivers, presenting stunning bouquet after stunning bouquet at your company’s reception desk.

There’s just no escaping it. As the morning wears on, you get that sinking feeling in your stomach….no flowers for you today.

That’s okay, right? You can be deliriously single and having the time of your life on February thirteenth, but by V-day, you’re hoping for a Mayday Mystery Man to resuscitate the day with a massive bouquet of twenty-four long-stems. Every time you hear the elevator bell, it’s like a prickly shot of hope in the arm — followed quickly by a fast-acting dose of reality. You smile weakly as coworker after coworker teeters down the hall with oversized vases of fragrant blooms.

The other women in the office will be kind and not mention the vacant space on your desk, although they’re secretly relieved not to be the girl the day forgot. On every other day of your life (with the possible exception of family weddings) your love life is private. On Valentine’s Day, it can feel like you’re cruising around the office wearing a giant sandwich board that reads: SINGLE! WITH NO SERIOUS PROSPECTS! Sure, you’ll put on a cheerful face, but you’ll be using every ounce of willpower to make the day run speedier than usual just to escape the omnipresent flora.

By the time you get home, you start to think. Maybe being single on Valentine’s Day isn’t so bad. After all, you didn’t have to drive home from work with a giant, wet, prickly bouquet in your front seat, blocking your view, and dousing your car interior with smelly stem water every time you made a left turn. There are no unattainable expectations for a great night of romance to fall flat. No thigh high stockings to yank up in the ladies room because the elastic isn’t doing its job, no horrifyingly tiny (and surely itchy) gifts of tramp-red lingerie. Just you, a trip to the video store and maybe extra pepperoni on your Valentine’s Day feast. A nice hot bath, a cozy pair of flannel jammies and a cuddle on the couch with your dog. If you think about it, single life is pretty rosy after all.
© 2006 by Lisa Daily. All rights reserved.

Dating Expert Lisa Daily is an internationally known dating
coach and the author of Stop Getting Dumped!

All you need to know to make men fall madly in love with you
and marry “The One” in 3 years or less. As seen
in Cosmopolitan, The Washington Post and Glamour Magazine

Get our FREE Dating Tips newsletter with great dating advice
on how to snag the man of your dreams att http://www.stopgettingdumped.com

How to use car sales tactics to get your guy to propose.

By Lisa Daily

One of the most common questions I get from readers is how
to get a boyfriend to the altar. For guys, getting engaged
is a lot like buying a new car: It’s a pretty scary decision
to ponder, it’s utterly terrifying when you actually get up
the nerve to make the offer, and absolutely fabulous when
you finally get to take her home.

Well girls, if a guy in a plaid polyester suit and a bad
rug can get your man to sign on the dotted line, so can you.
All you need to know are a few tricks of the trade.

He has to be in the market.

If you’re not in the market for a new car, it doesn’t matter
if they use live gorillas or a big pile of cash – nothing
is going to get you into the showroom if you don’t want to
be there. The same is true for marriage. You can hint, beg
and plead all you want, but if he’s not interested in what
you’re selling, there’s nothing you can do to make him buy.
We hear ads for car dealerships hundreds of times a day, 365
days a year, but we tune them out until we’re actually ready
to consider buying. The lesson here: When he’s in the market,
he’ll let you know.

Make sure he can pass the credit check.

A lot of times we’re so worried about whether or not he wants
to marry us, we don’t take the time to make sure we want to
marry him. I’m not talking about money here – I’m talking
about the important things, like honesty, kids, education
and family. Are his scores up to your standards? You don’t
want to lose out on more qualified buyers because you’re spending
all your energy trying to make a deal with somebody who doesn’t
make the grade.

Don’t try to sell him a minivan if what he really wants is
a flashy sports model.

The fact is, a guy already knows what he wants by the time
he walks into the dealership. The same is true in relationships.
If your guy doesn’t want kids, spends all his time alone on
a sailboat, and loves his African art collection, don’t try
to talk him into a suburban daddy lifestyle. You may pressure
him into the deal, but it won’t be long before he’s miserable
and suffering from buyers’ remorse. It won’t be long before
he’ll start figuring out a way to trade you in for the model
he really wanted.

He needs to know the model he wants (you) won’t be on the
showroom floor forever.

One of the greatest fears in buying a new car is that if we
leave the showroom, the car we really want will be snatched
up by somebody else unless we make an offer right away. The
same is true for men: If he thinks you’ll be waiting around
forever while he makes a decision, he’ll have no incentive
to act now. On the other hand, if he knows you may not be
available if he takes too much time deciding, he’ll be more
inclined to lock in the deal and get the one he wants today.

He has to know there are others buyers in the market.

Nothing is more appealing than a car that everybody wants
and nobody can get. So what happens when there are a lot of
buyers in the market, and not enough cars to go around? The
waiting list. At all times you’re not in an exclusive relationship,
try dating at least three men at a time. Men are intensely
competitive, and their attraction to you will increase tenfold
if they sense another buyer in the showroom. Plus, you’ll
have a backup or two if a promising deal falls through. In
the meantime, all your potential buyers will be trying to
figure out how he can wiggle his way to the top of your list.

Give him a test drive.

Every day of your dating relationship is like a test drive
for marriage, and from day one, he’s evaluating how you perform.
Is your relationship a smooth ride? Does it work with his
lifestyle? Or does it break down every few weeks? Either way,
he’s relying on the test drive when it comes to making the
big decision to buy. Your guy has to feel like you’re the
model he can live with. (At least until the loan is paid off.)

Ring the bell when the deal is made.

The final car sales tactic is ringing the bell when the deal
is made. Once he’s made the deal, the car salesman rings a
big bell, and everybody in the showroom stops what they’re
doing to congratulate the new buyer. Even though the deal
hasn’t been signed yet, it’s a way to make him feel good about
his decision, and keep him from backing out once he sees what
the sunroof is going to cost. The same is true for proposals.
Make sure you announce to the crowd, friends and family the
fabulous, romantic way in which your guy has just proposed.
Everybody will congratulate him like crazy, he’ll feel a happy
rush of emotion, and you will seal the deal.

© 2004 by Lisa Daily. All rights reserved.

Lisa Daily is the author of Stop Getting Dumped!

All you need to know to make men fall madly in love

with you and marry “The One” in 3 years or less.
At bookstores everywhere.

As seen in/on Cosmopolitan, The Other Half and Ricki Lake

Get our FREE Dating Tips newsletter – chock-full of man-snagging techniques, at http://www.stopgettingdumped.com