6 Secrets To Meet
More Dates Online
By Lisa Daily
By now you know that online dating is by far the most popular
and easiest way to meet someone fabulous. And even if you
work the swing shift, only date junk food addicts or are looking
for someone who shares your adoration of Desperate Housewives
and Sex Inspectors, it's easier than ever to find your perfect
match. Not having as much luck as you'd like? Lucky for you,
upping your odds of finding your dream date online is as easy
as microwaving a bag of popcorn - just follow these 6 simple
tips:
1) Post a photo, even if you think you look like
Quasimoto
The first thing you should know is that profiles with photos
get eight times the response. Why? Nobody, but nobody, wants
to end up with whatever is lurking behind door number three.
Here's an interesting little factoid from Steven D. Levitt
and Stephen J. Dubner, authors of Freakonomics (William Morrow,
2005): "A low-income, poorly-educated, unhappily employed,
not-very-attractive slightly overweight and balding man who
posts his photo stands a better chance at gleaning some emails
than a man who says he makes $200,000 a year and is deadly
handsome but doesn't post a photo." The lesson? Post
a photo - even if it's a quickie that you intend to take down
later and replace with something else. Don't wait until you
lose twenty pounds. Don't wait until the Rogaine kicks! in.
Post your photo today - even if it's not perfect, it's sure
a lot better than nothing.
2) The absolute best thing you can say on your profile
While it's important not to lie, it's also important to know
what's working for you:
According to Freakonomics,
The biggest advantages a man can have? High income.
The biggest advantages a woman can have? Beauty. And blonde
hair.
And while good looks are important to both sexes, beauty
is most certainly in the eye of the beholder. Don't worry
about trying to be something you're not. It's most important
to feel good about who you are -- everybody looks great to
somebody.
3) The Color Most Likely To Snag You A Date
It's red. When we see red, our hearts beat a little faster
and we get a sensation that mimics attraction. So, if you
want to crank up the attention-getting level with your online
photo, it's a good idea to either use a red background for
your main photo, or wear something red. Remember, red makes
everybody hot. It works in person too, so be sure to wear
at least a little red on your first "in-person"
date.
4) Email, Texting and IMs, Oh my!
First, you want to keep in mind that the purpose of emailing
a potential date is flirting. Keep the conversation fairly
light, just like you would on a first date. It's usually best
to avoid hot-button subjects like politics, abortion and gun
control until after you know each other a bit better. Also,
it's never a good idea to use an email relationship as a cheap
alternative to therapy. Don't complain about your parade of
exes and how the opposite sex is out to get you. (If you feel
that way, you need to take a little dating sabbatical and
get some real therapy before you wade back in to the dating
pool) It's also a good idea to keep your email contact balanced
- try to match them one-for-one. In other words, don't send
four emails to his one. You'll come off as being a bit overzealous.
5) When to cut your losses
Most people email for about three weeks before initiating
a personal meeting. If it's been more than two months and
you haven't met yet, odds are you never will. (And there's
usually a good reason for that: maybe your online sweetie
is married, confined to his rec room wearing one of those
prison-issue ankle bracelets, or is, hmm, otherwise unavailable.)
Unless you're just looking for a pen pal, you might want to
chalk this one up to experience and move on.
6) Stage A Safe Meeting
Never (EVER! ) give your personal information out to a stranger.
And, even though you might feel like you know someone pretty
well based on an email or telephone relationship, it's important
to remember that you don't really know them. Which means you
should take precautions.
First, always meet in a public place. Next, be sure to tell
a friend where you're going and who'll you be with. Always
be sure drive yourself home. Last, take your cell phone and
keep it with you at all times.
Have fun and follow these six simple tips - your inbox will
be jammed in no time flat.
© 2005 by Lisa Daily. All rights reserved.
Dating Expert Lisa Daily is the author of Stop Getting Dumped!
All you need to know to make men fall madly in love with you
and marry "The One" in 3 years or less. At bookstores
everywhere.
As seen in/on Cosmopolitan, The Washington Post and HITCH:
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